a new year tag :)

taken from suki's blog... liked this tag, so did it myself

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?

I turned 20..now that's what I never did before :P On a serious note, I did a few new things, and they were real good, that's all I'll say ;)
2. Did you keep your new years resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn't actually. Because I had resolved never to make a resolution, but I ended up making one for 2008..which happens to be "drink more water" ..for more information, read my previous post.. :P
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

None of my friends , thankfully. Relatives.. I dunno..might have, but they aren't exactly close, so I don't know and don't care :P
4. Did anyone close to you die?

My maternal grandfather did, at 92...may his soul rest in peace ( if it isn't already).
5. What places did you visit?

No trips to new places this year ,sadly, with me busy with college admission etc.Looking forward to a short trip that's probable in January.
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?

Less violence, more cleanliness ( in my city I mean,my home isn't that bad yet :P)
7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

9th March (I got patched up) 8th May( I was 20 ) 5th November (er...for something nice..remember 9th march? ;) )
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Completing Max Payne 2 in 4 days without any help..now THAT'S something :D
For those who do not appreciate PC games...well...I was satisfied with almost everything I did in 2007...that should be SOME achievement.
9. What was your biggest failure?

I don't remember any such thing :( That's a failure for sure.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Excluding the bump on the head and the scratch on the hand that happens twice a day, no. Stupid question actually. Would have been easier to answer if it were "Did you suffer serious illness or injury?".
11. What was the best thing you bought?

A couple of very comfortable jackets, one made of cord the other made of wool.Actually all the clothes I bought deserve to feature in this list.Also a couple of books - short stories by Anton Chekhov and Zola.Nothing very special about them except the fact that they were the first things I bought for myself out of my own earnings.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

Long list. Plenty of people made me happy this year, myself inclusive.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and/or depressed?

Long list again, but shorter than the earlier one I am sure.
14. Where did most of your money go?

To restaurants, bookstores and bus conductors.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

I got excited about falling in love, with a couple of people ( don't get it wrong ;).One of them is me.The excitement continues.). AND, also about my upgraded PC - a new flat screen monitor, core 2 duo processor, 1 GB RAM, a DVD writer. Sounds yum? ;)
16. What song will always remind you of 2007?

You are my theme for a dream by Cliff Richard. I can't exactly justify why. Something to do with love and happiness I suppose, at a personal level. 2007 made me happy.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?

Happier and sadder. Happier because I put certain things right and am better equipped to meet the future. Sadder because the new year did not start with a happy bang. Its just like any other time of year. Also I will miss a someone for a while, till he returns. :)
18. Thinner or fatter?

A bit fatter where you button your jeans, but overall, not much of a change. Wait a minute, you WERE asking about me right?
19. What do you wish you'd done more of?

I wish I had done more of doing nothing. Lethargy is delicious . :P Jokes apart, I might have done more of writing, but that's OK.I can write now.
20. What do you wish you'd done less of?

I wish I had done less of staying online. But nowadays ( since December that it ) I do not stay online all that much, so that problem has been taken care of.
21. How will you be spending Christmas?

I spent it eating pieces of a fruitcake, watching Chicago from a DVD, playing scrabble and a silly game called "fruit smash" with my darling dad and mom, and missing my boyfriend whom i had met on 24th and would meet on 26th. :P
22. Did you fall in love in 2007?

I think I said this before. I fall in love with something or the other every day anyway. :P Well OK, yeah I DID fall in love. But that fall didn't hurt.
23. How many one night stands?

I never made out (or made love) at night yet :P Have I missed something? :P And well, when I DO make out ( or make love) at night, that's NOT going to be a one night stand :D The idea of doing that stuff standing doesn't quite feel appealing ;)
24. What was your favourite TV programme?

Er, I watched a maximum of half an hour of TV a day this year, when they aired the news. So its easy to guess whats my favourite TV programme.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No. I had plenty of chances but no time to hate anyone.
26. What was the best book you read?

This year I was all into thrillers. Doctors by Eric Segal, PD James thrillers are among the many I liked.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I started liking, and ended up liking Evanescence and Linking park. Also stumbled upon Poets of the Fall and LFO and loved both.
28. What did you want and get?

Happiness, a great boyfriend, the Internet at home...and many other things. My father makes sure I get things I want, things he can get me that is.
29. What did you want and not get?

An answer to this question.
30. What was your favourite film of this year?

Didn't watch too many films of my taste this year. watched a few Bollywood and Hollywood flicks that proved to be nice entertainment but not intellectually fulfilling. The latest Feluda movie wasn't good enough to be my favourite either.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I cut a strawberry cake my boyfriend got me, ate almost a third of it, wore a new shirt my parents got me, ate yummy dishes my mother cooked. I turned 20.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

More love, less violence. Tears of joy, not of grief.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?

Casual? Alternative? Nope, I'll call it "whatever, but cool"
34. What kept you sane?

My bathroom (think about it, without your bathroom chances are that you will go crazy).
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I saw a video of Alizee and fell in love with her. Don't remember liking anyone else that much.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?

There were plenty. Rizwanur, Nandigram etc. Its a shame but none really stirred me . I was more prone to give a reaction like "oh..sigh..."
37. Who did you miss?

No one, excluding my boyfriend at times. I will be missing more of him since he'll be out of town from tomorrow till 5th January or so.
38. Who was the best new person you met?

My boyfriend, if you are strictly talking about new persons.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.

Life is maths and communication is its formula.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Has to be this ( as stated earlier ) -
You are my theme for a dream Yes you are,
a rare and lovely theme (you're a theme for a dream)
The dreams I dream day and night
That your arms are holding me so tight (you're a theme for a dream)
When I dream I kiss you (kiss you)
Music fills with starlight (starlight)
Every time I touch you ( when I touch you)
Each and every time a chime rings out I love you
Only you for ever more
cause you're my theme for a dream
Yes you are a rare and lovely theme (you're my theme for a dream)
So, angel please say that you love me too
And make my dreams come true dream (you're my theme for a dream)
When I dream I kiss you (kiss you)
Music fills with starlight (starlight)
Every time I touch you ( when I touch you)
Each and every time a chime rings out I love you
Only you for ever more
cause you're my theme for a dream
Yes you are a rare and lovely theme (you're my theme for a dream)
So, angel please say that you love me too
And make my dreams come true dream
And make my dreams come true
Please make my dreams come true.

Mah Resolution :D

I have taken some bloody resolutions
Overcoming all stupid confusions
About whether I wanna bloody keep 'em or not
Let the dilemmas rot
Me'll drink more; water I mean
Three meals a day and gallons in between !
1 litre ,then 2 then 3...it'll go up the ladder,
Till it cant take anymore, my poor ol' bladder !
Health, they say, take care of it...
Drink 10 glasses(not pegs) a day,and stay fit
So i start today, the earlier the better
I drink a gulp after typing every letter !
Flush out toxins, that's what they say
Yeah, it makes me visit the loo oftener anyway !
Drink up ..drink more, and then take a leak
Am off to get high on water,excuse me (hic ! )

smiles and shrugs

Am back with my smile
To walk another mile,
To write a new song,
The one I won't get wrong.
They write about the war
The darkness near and far
The black sea or the snow
The windy storms that blow
The endless so called fights
The absence of bright lights...

I have no complaints
About the way life paints
My days, as they go by.
I have no desire to die,
Or to talk of death,
Or the loss of faith...
So of sweet love I speak.
Your heart's joy i seek,
Savoring its every bit.
Our path is well lit.

twice i look

done in paintbrush...today evening.

whatever !

done in paintbrush.
i like the way she looks- with her "just up from sleep" expression and messed up hair. and the colorful net thingy is my way of painting "whatever" ...that's how i look at things not affecting me anyway :)

link to a door

click on this.
although my blog is supposed to have nothing to do with current affairs,it wasn't possible not to link this thing up...because i feel this is the non-political-but-aware student's approach to a certain situation.we are not here to say "rise up and fight..." we don't want any fights...it is only a call for a solution that will bring peace..cant all the great heads think of one?

The alphabet meme

pria tagged me :D

A ACCEPT nothing till you have got the proof
B BREAK things in rage if u cant get the proof
C CREATE a proof if you have the brains
D DECIDE whether your proof is strong enough
E EXPLORE other proofs in your free time
F FORGIVE the idiots who accept without proof
G GROW up and move on if you are fed up with the lack of proof
H HOPE for a new thing with a fresh new proof
I IGNORE old beliefs with no proof
J JOURNEY to new areas looking for the proof you seek
K KNOW the proof by heart once you get it
L LOVE people who lead you to the proof
M MANAGE to kick off all lunatics who sell fake proofs
N NOTICE the goddamn proof the moment it comes your way
O OPEN your mind and let the proof sink in
P PLAY with toys , not with proofs
Q QUESTION their intelligence till you make people agree to buy your proof
R RELAX on a sofa as they accept the proof you give them
S SHARE the proof with people as long as the copyright is yours
T TRY to establish yourself as the "great proof finder"
U USE the title as a proof that you are brainy
V VALUE your proof no matter what they say about it
W WORK no more, just live off the royalty that the proof brings
X X-RAY your brains when you get old -its THE brain that procured the proof
Y YIELD to the doctor if he says you are insane..but ask for the proof
Z ZOOM into the x ray the doc gives you...that should be proof enough

gah pria..things that u make me write :D
ok.lesse whom i wanna tag ..soumik :D all u hafta do is keep the first word of each line and rewrite the thing.
.

Of beautiful things that i kept away :)

I stayed away from you for so long
...and I thought I would never be there.
The sparks that flew were fascinating.
But hey,I would always put a stop to them !
I was stopping them when they acted,
I stopped them when they peaked,
I stopped them when they rested,
but now they tell me they never stopped at all !
...and they don't lie !
I saw them rushing through me...
I felt their beauty on me.
Oh why did I ever want to stop them?
Am I fragile? (they say I am not)
Such rosy things the sparks are
with tender thorns that prick and caress
scared I was? (well I still am)
But the fear combined with things I never felt
Such powerful beauty they have
They make me complete,
despite being so scary.
(or is scary the right word?)
Love,you are crude,scary and assuring all at once...
and you grow more soothing each day.
With all the turbulence and calm you are beautiful.
I am so happy that I failed to keep you away.

kiddish smile

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my dad! :)

when i was in junior school,i spent an afternoon (the afternoon of one 2nd November to be precise) cutting out colorful marble paper and streamers..and by the evening,the rooms were a whirl of colors...the occasion- my dad's birthday :)
in high school when i learnt to make that nice chocolate and fruit cake,the streamers bade goodbye and the cake was the thing i made all afternoon.
now i am in 2nd year,i bought him a bottle of scent..nicely wrapped in glossy paper...how people change with time as they grow up...but have i changed really? :) coz just a little while back,i put on my dad's old striped shirt, ( the one that was too small for him so he gave me ) tied around my waist in a knot, my dear old jeans and new orange earrings..and whoosh I AM READY FOR THE PARTY :D well,the party is nothing but a nice big dinner (i can smell the aroma of the biriyani from the kitchen :) mom's a great cook) but,i feel the same excitement...just the thing i felt back in the junior school days :) and dad smiles in the same way when he looks at the scent...that smile when he saw the streamers....:) so,once again,a very happy birthday to my boy...i mean dad :) love you.

.

Bad Apple A fun minesweeper game, but with apples!

Play this free game now!!

heres a cute little form of minesweeper i chill out with.

A break from poetic illusions

Gees this is one of the innumerable times I feel like laughing silently looking at the things I so nicely devised. Wannabe style too :D giggles. Not very intentionally though. It just came out that way...and it will in future. Am not scared as long as I can laugh at them later. I am greatly indebted to the people who very sweetly remind me that life is not about these reflections or dreams so nicely spelt out from this cozy room of mine. And I have not turned serious like some who have delved so deep in the world of rich reflections that they cannot come back to the simple world of sleep and work. This is right out of my heart like a sigh that escapes you when you do not have any more words except for that look in your eyes which says "gimme a break man!".:D

Many a times have I pretended to be this mature young lady who writes..(gees I almost cut the branch I am sitting on :P)... And at the end of the day when I looked at it all while having my lovely dinner of chicken stew, I have admired each and every line ,the ideas, the sheer art that flew out of my brain(be it good or otherwise). But at the same time I never felt that i actually believe in them beyond certain limits...those reflections are NOT what my life is made of....and I laugh :D ...I laugh at the way pretensions sell and even the person who is pretending actually ends up buying it all. Well,not me :D I will take myself to a doctor the day i start believing something like "..the bright lights are few,may the brightest one be you"..though I find the lines really beautiful( I WROTE THEM MAN! :D) I mean my life is so much simpler than what the poems portray ..only that simplicity does not seem attractive every time... I feel this post is really necessary.Because I am not the poet lost in the dreams i created. Dreams and reflections are just what they are called and nothing more or less...and the dreams i really live in are more material in nature :D I needed to announce that before anyone thought I am some kind of a dreamer or "fighter"( god knows what there is to fight when one lives the way I do).
Before I conclude, I am going to thank a certain friend of mine who made me happy by saying he knows which part is pretension even though the expressions may be nice. :D Thanks Souvik for that one :) And to those people who strongly object to what i have said: this is entirely about me and my feelings...i respect our differences :)
And now i need to go...
this post has been flat and frank throughout...
..the brights lights are few
may the brightest one be you.
mom , bring on the stew! :D

The Alter Ego That Never Was

The girl i love looks at me,
Beckons through the liquid that separates us,
The beats grow louder,
And i hear our blood rush.

I am not so good with rhymes,
The goddess will forgive me,
But she is not my concern,
She is not the one i see.

Oh! her pale skin and glowing eyes!
She looks like a ghost,
Still i confuse her with you,
...The female i love the most.

I dipped my finger in the lake,
And felt it go through your skin,
Wish I could be raw and red,
And not the stranger in between.

The liquid reflects you on me,
Like i am your image,
Super impositions excite you,
But I feel cold rage.

oh goddess,girl and me,
We are but one.
Or so they say...
But I am none.

I am not the fair almighty,
Nor you, pretty damsel.
Am i me?
I am sure i can tell...

But no! let it be,
I am no one when he looks at me,
You detest my glee,
When he lets me be.

Girl i love you,
I give in to your wish,
You want his love,
From the ruby dish.

For him i unite,
With myself i so dearly care,
Then i become one,
My hands touch his hands bare.

Cutting out the pieces,
That i don't want to tie,
I go with him happily,
As i watch you blissfully die.

You Are 54% Independent

Overall, you're a pretty independent woman. You don't follow trends just to fit in. You've got your own cool thing going on, though you sometimes still care too much about what other's think.

Are You an Independent Woman?

and its only 54% because i said i dont like to go to restaurants and movies alone :D giggles.thats not being independent..thats being a loner!

My Toys

The toys lie strewn about the house;
And i still am madly possessive about them !
The day you took away my teddy bear,
I screamed till you put it back.
And then next day...
I tore out its eye and made a hole in its heart
With your needle that you left lying around !
The day you bought me the plastic letters,
I wrote my first words.
And perhaps you were proud...
Though i see no reason why you should have been !
And then the talking doll,
The train that you barely let me touch...
Its still there...waiting to be broken
By my tiny fist that holds the pen now !
The blocks...the colors...
The heaps of joy...
That still make me go through the tonnes of debris
That lie packed neatly
In the depths of the box and my heart,
Waiting to be touched and fondled again.
And they are not waiting in vain,
Because I still am madly possessive about them.

rivulets

In the silence of the evening,
I heard your promises.
The air was thick and still;
And you were curt in your kisses !
I spelt out my worries
that the rest so easily dismisses,
And you laughed it off too.
It strengthened my wishes.
So I say that I will....
I have been trying to kill
the grey mist beyond the grill.
Am clutching the past that's new.
The bright lights are few.
May the brightest one be you.

blabber

sometimes i wish i had a life minus d internet and my cellphone...easy access makes me anxious..makes me peep in my virual spaces to check scraps and mails every hour or so...makes me peep into my cellphone screen every minute for that reply that is taking time to arrive.at the end of the day its like "gimme a break...lemme breathe"...anyways...i think i am back here...i am talking about keeping my blog active..lets see what i come up with..
this has been a nice as well as lousy puja...the sort that leaves a bittersweet taste in ur mouth...u love it..and yet u wonder whether it might have been better.so much for today.am back to getting a life outside d internet now....deep breaths

for once i thought i had escaped MCQs
come to think of it,they are really powerful
i mean what else would make me mess up my pretty poetic blog with a stray comment like this? hmph.
good luck fellas

learning

learn to love i did
and as long as you love me back i take it
..take all the differences
take all the "givings"..and the "give ups"
only that i am not giving in
love me
do do do
till your heart bursts and mine too
till we know what we want is right
till we go both ways
its all about the "wantings" and the "dont cares"
take me take me
bowl me over till i dont get it
till i wish a fast forward
learn to love i did
and i have learnt it so well
that i am scared to escape
i cannot escape
learning made it a habit :)

I sometimes wonder how imperfect the world would have been if everything were perfect.

Today

a day gone again,
and gone in vain,
with words dat didnt register,
with hours dat hurt like a blister,
and a hot afternoon
was horrid,so forgive my june-with-spoon.
the long hot break,
in that stinking little wreck,
then the stupid little plans,
no reason,no romance.
just rubbish jokes and art,
where i played my part.
the old hag telling stories,
about past history and glories.
then the end of it all,
i wish i could bawl.
some pictures were drawn,
i was less forlorn.
till you came along,
with your weary song.
exhaustion in our eyes,
made my frights rise.
you were tired and sick,
but still you played the trick,
to show you were fine.
your intentions were divine,
but i swallowed my pains,
and took the weak reins.
you went home,
i could not roam,
so i went home too,
worried and clueless about what to do.
then i chunked it out,
"its nothing" i heard myself shout.

ok..this is hell stupid...and funny..and very few will understand what this means;) but still,i cant resist.so here goes....
RD-DR burning bright
with the brand new fresh daylight
no one person,animal or tree
has your perfect symmetry ;D

PS.i hope the ghost of william blake will spare me :D

amusements of the mind

wizarding alone,
with the screen in front,
with the poems in mind,
the weird hebrew,
that i am supposed to write,
comes and goes.
it seems like a hoax,
a funny ballad of woes,
a strange group of words,
that hang from the top.
and i wish it would stop.
but, i wish that i wont
at the same time.
so i say "dont",
and the rest still hovers.
i look for covers.
in vain my search goes.
as i began,
i still stand on my toes!

My Inner Hero - Wizard!


There are many types of magic, but all require a sharp mind and a cool head. There is no puzzle I can't solve, no problem I can't think my way out of. When you feel confused or uncertain, you can always rely on me to untangle the knots and put everything back in order for you.

How about you? Click here to find your own inner hero.

Blink 182 - Feeling This

i played this over and over again

talk dirty? :D

dirty dirty..
like grime on d windowsill
layers of dust on d floor
ask me to tok dirty
and i will tell u more
d filth in d room
the dirty wooden chair....
the unwashed dirty clothes
and my dirty oily hair..
dirty littl corners
wth dirty minded freaks
treat d dirty fellas
wth dirty littl tricks

laughing stock

there i go again
..talking about art....
its a virtue...
that many do not behold..
and them i wanna hurt...
yes...shallow as they are
they wont get that either
they would nod and frown
as i look down
upon their clean heads
devoid of all the head contains !
kudos to the old wise soul
that keeps it going
keeping the senses shut
to the snide reflections.
people..do you even understand?
whatever i say...
does this mean anything to you..
i will not expect it to..
and there you are..
nodding away again
as i cant help but dryly laugh
at you...
why can i see right through your shallow substance?
you don't even see what
keeps the world going..
you just see glittering paychecks
and blind yearnings
for the golden snowflakes
but that is the place
where you go senile
where it cuts reality like a knife...
tell me wise people..
did you ever have a life?

Gold ... for you

gold ...you are the lustrous soul
you make me lose control
when you shine through the diamond pieces

your pale glistering spirits rose
and entered me like the sweetest doze
bringing alive all my wishes

you dont glister you just shine
gold, your yellow light is only mine
served in the emerald and ruby dishes.

back to myself..for ever!

After so much time,
its finally bliss.
Life flew back at me
and gave me a kiss!
I looked at the eyes,
they talked of love and care.
The sweet serene smile,
that makes you dare
to show yourself...
to join in the heart.
It is flowing within,
it is a beautiful start,
people comment,
all of them... young and old.
They may read it as weird,
or maybe too bold.
But i am resting assured,
because they hardly can see,
in between the lines,
the real picture of me!
I am smiling for once,
I am smiling truly,
far away from the norms,
that seem unruly.
I had lost myself then...
I am lost still!
But this is one fall
on my own free will.
Getting lost in the warmth
was something so new...
like a warm blue lake,
where my passions brew.
I look before me,
I see myself tall...
I didnt know one rises
after this fall!
I am glad i fell...
I am happy it worked...
I met the little corners,
where this blissful heart lurked.
I will hold on to this life.
Whatever it lacks,
is so small compared to
this eternal climax!

....

shadows..... done in paintbrush

beyond

caught within the black and white mirror

she strives to find the colours

there is no red

there is no grey

extremes greet her as she looks

its either the cruel truth

or the sickly lies

and she stares

because she does not know..

we do not look at the world

through a mirror

i just wait for the day

that she taps it hard

to look for whats beneath the black white images

..and the mirror just cracks

it is a good omen

cause she isn't the lady of shallot

and the day it cracks

she will come alive again.

didactic

They are bothered about

oh so many things

things we do

life is so slow

when i look every morning

and read the same story

Oh.please

don't change the names

of the same things

...the silly little boring

stories at that

of some little theft

or another spoilt brat

..you worry

yes you do...

i know u wanna guard

and given the microphone it is very hard to control..

so you speak

like a maniac

..talking away..

about some silly old fool

who bent the bloody idiotic city rule

...u have a problem with the damsel who kissed

..but hey you moral guardian

you are the unruly beast

that we should get.

its not them its not us

Why do you worry your big head

with the stuff that goes on

cant you see

the picture of the floors..

instead of lookin'

at those people freakin'

look down you fool

look at the hungry poor souls...

dont you dare spit at the pretty city dolls..

leave them alone you moral

beastly soul...

just look beyond...

and you will see

that you hadnt looked at all

all these days..when u criticised the gal who was

wearin' a flag..

she got the immoral tag

but what are you poor pauper..

have you really thought.

i know u havnt

baby..this is the time

look see help

clean the real bad crime.

Someone once said that money is common.

Yes, I agree.

But have you noticed how difficult life becomes without the commonest of things?

here goes my second post, and i am not giving it much thought coz there is neither the time nor the energy in this hot summer afternoon...i dont even want to use the capital letters where they r needed..the proper punctuation marks and the rules..but i dont need them here,i guess...this is good..being able to sit and write whatever i feel like ...coz this is my very own little virtual corner...and i wanna do nice things to it...wild things to it..weird things to it...as weird as i am...but still,boy,i am
at peace with myself
c u soon

why?

there were times when
i just could
look and take my eyes away

but now it leaves a picture
and i want it to be sweet

and it tastes normal

so why why why
do you...
do you need to tell me
..its fake girl
its all a cloud girl
get away from it girl
you are not happy girl

do hell with your troubled self
and your history
coz you are not me

and i am not you
i just cannot be

you only trouble me
make me lost when i am so sure
that i know ...
i know it all

you say you care...
yeah you do

but so many of them care
did i ever need it..
did it ever matter?

i slipped away
u could not..
u failed my dears..
so skip the lecture

coz there is no pain...
dont tell me this is not my happiness

coz i have had enough
and i dont want the luxury of feeling lost anymore.